Mommy Hustler

Being strong and brave has always been admired whereas expressing any sort of vulnerability is looked down upon. When someone is articulating their feelings of vulnerability, our first response is to say “oh you are so brave” or “you are a fighter”. We say this perhaps with the intention of making the other person feel better. However by saying this what we are doing is that we are indirectly telling this other person that their feelings of vulnerability are in fact not valid because hey remember you’re strong right ?  We need to change the conversation here and it needs to happen now. The person who is accepting their vulnerability and speaking about it is in fact very strong. It takes a special kind of strength to be vulnerable. So yes they know they are strong. They didn’t ask for your validation about it . What they did ask was for you to acknowledge their feelings of vulnerability rather than trying to put a “positive spin” on everything. Because sometimes , it’s important to ...

  “Please could you buy me a bug house mummy?”. This was Little R’s request for his 4th birthday. Even as a baby he was happiest outdoors exploring flowers and grass in the garden or being entirely amazed at the sight of bugs and insects. As soon as he learnt how to walk he would waddle across the length of our communal garden at the time and appear to be in a state of absolute bliss. So when he asked me for a bug house as a birthday present I wasn’t at all surprised.   Building on his love for nature, I naturally gravitated towards incorporating the outdoors into our day to day routine. I remember bundling him up in his buggy and going for long walks by the river. He immediately seemed to calm down on such walks as if the river was singing him a lullaby. Nowadays a walk in the woods is our most looked forward to activity of the day. He loves looking out for woodland creatures and collects various objects like rocks, pine cones and so on. Every time he finds something of inte...

Dear Mummy Pehle toh yaar (as you like to say) let us tell you that you are the best! Also you are funny; so funny that we end up spluttering our juice every single time you say or do something funny. Like remember that time you enacted the Gruffalo for us and ended up saying Mummylo instead? It made us laugh like crazy. So yes pleaaaaaaseeee keep being funny as it really really really makes us laugh. Now onto something serious. We know that you are secretly feeding us vegetables. We had a huge doubt when you started serving us green dal and pink dal. Some days we play along but on others it’s just too much to swallow! What was that slimy dosa you gave us that day? Please don’t tell us you put that scary looking vegetable in it?! What do you call it again ? Ladyfinger? See mummy the name itself is dodgy (your favourite word, see?) so yes we have our limits you know. And no don’t even think about it- Bribes will NOT work. That Halloween, we mean Ladyfinger dosa is worth nothing. Nothing...

Gone are the days when I could choose my outfit at leisure, dress up without having little hands tug at my legs and apply make up as if I were in the Sajana hai mujhe sajana ke liye video.  Nowadays leaving the house is best described as a whirlwind. Getting two kids under 4 ready and out of the house makes you feel like you’re in an episode of Crystal Maze, the only difference being you get zero crystals for all that hard work.  It’s not just the ‘getting the kids ready’ part that needs to be tackled. You need to do all the behind the scenes work too to ensure a smooth outing. Let’s see what this involves: Planning the outing based on baby’s routine- This is so important as it will ensure both you and baby are able to enjoy. Avoid commuting during meal times for example but definitely go for it if it’s nap time. Of course baby may change their own routine but try we must!  Baby bag - The go to bag irrespective of whether you’re off to the mall or Maldives. It contains ev...

“Please relax, calm down, love” said the nurse at our local doctor’s practice. I was in a jittery state soon after Little R was jabbed four times in his tiny arms and legs. He was crying and screaming at the top of his lungs. This immunisation process was getting far too intense. I’m sure everybody in the clinic heard him. He didn’t sound much different from Himesh Reshamiya singing Naam tera, tera…..It was equally if not more distressing. He finally calmed down and drifted off to sleep in the pram on our way home. I remember psyching myself up before the kids’ immunisation in their first year. Although I still do this for Baby R, Little R now who is at the very curious age of 4 needs some preparation for visits to the doctor and dentist. Bringing up a dentist visit with a 4 year old is tricky. They can either get excited about it or become far too anxious. You need to take into consideration how your child is likely to respond before broaching the subject. A craft activity, a book and...

Guilty guilty guilty mujhe log bole! Hi guilty, hello guilty kyun na bole?!  Oh how I wish it was the ‘log’ because here, the guilt emanates from myself. Aren’t we mums guilty of feeling guilty? Guilt for going to the office, guilt for choosing to stay at home, guilt for taking more than 5 minutes in the loo!! Guilt, guilt, guilt. I never experienced this feeling so often and at such intensity before I became a mother.  Why do we end up feeling so guilty all the time? I thought about this a lot and have come up with the following probable reasons:  The image of the ‘ideal’ mother as portrayed by the media. The mum who supposedly has it all including a supreme spirit to sacrifice her own needs. It’s only recently that this ideal is being challenged but it will take a while because of its deep rooted impact. Thanks rahega Mother India! Thanks rahega! External validation for being a fantastic mom! I mean why do we pine for external validation? The only validation you need is...