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Validating Vulnerability




Being strong and brave has always been admired whereas expressing any sort of vulnerability is looked down upon. When someone is articulating their feelings of vulnerability, our first response is to say “oh you are so brave” or “you are a fighter”. We say this perhaps with the intention of making the other person feel better. However by saying this what we are doing is that we are indirectly telling this other person that their feelings of vulnerability are in fact not valid because hey remember you’re strong right ? 


We need to change the conversation here and it needs to happen now. The person who is accepting their vulnerability and speaking about it is in fact very strong. It takes a special kind of strength to be vulnerable. So yes they know they are strong. They didn’t ask for your validation about it . What they did ask was for you to acknowledge their feelings of vulnerability rather than trying to put a “positive spin” on everything. Because sometimes , it’s important to acknowledge these difficult feelings and really talk about them rather than hiding behind the veil of so called strength.  


So next time try saying “I can’t imagine how that must feel” or “It must be so hard” rather than “oh you’re so strong”. It will make a huge difference. 

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