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It’s Ok To Not Be Ok



Whilst the motherland struggles with the worst covid surge yet, I feel like a helpless outsider, constantly on edge, always worrying about my family and friends in India. The images flooding the news are heart wrenching to say the least. I recently read a poem by Meera Kandasamy and the line “my country is a crematorium” shook me because it couldn’t be further from the truth.


As adults we are conditioned to say “I’m fine “, “I’m ok” when in reality we are not. The admission of not being ok is somehow equated to being weak and this unhealthy dialogue serves to damage our mental health. Also saying you are not ok makes the person who asked uncomfortable and we have learnt over the years to always try and steer clear of awkwardness.


As moms we are expected to just get on with it and we do because many a times we don’t have a choice or we assume that we don’t. A lot depends on us doesn’t it? So how do we help ourselves in such distressing times? Here are a few things (for lack of a better word) that help me cope and I hope that you find something useful , something that may make you less anxious and stressed 


Reduce actively seeking out news - The news is full of distressing stories along with images and rightly so. Actively seeking out news during such a difficult time only serves to increase feelings of stress and anxiety. So, limiting access to say twice a day may help to keep the anxiety on check.


Do something that makes you happy - After a while, Being homebound can start taking its toll on mental health. Doing something that makes you happy becomes even more important here. Cook, read, apply nail polish; basically whatever helps to cheer you up. Personally, I write, write and write some more!


Speak to your family - Communication is key. Asking after their well-being as well as engaging in general banter will help in easing stress. Call, text, holler! 


Confide in a friend - Identify one friend at least in who you can confide, with whom you needn’t pretend to be ok when you are not. I read somewhere that talking to your best friend is all the therapy you need. I’m lucky to have my bestie and grateful for our friendship.


Engage your kids - Read to them, play with them. Set your chores aside and make the time to really be present in the moment with them. You will be amazed by how this will help you feel that tiny bit better!


Be kind to yourself - We are living through a pandemic. It’s ok if on some days you don’t make a super nutritious meal or you give your kids extra screen time. We are trying to survive so don’t be hard on yourself.


I will leave you with the following image in the hope that you are reassured at some level 




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