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A Letter To My Pandemic Second Born

Dear Pandemic Second Born


You entered our lives just before the world as we knew it was about to change drastically. A horrible virus took over, bringing all countries to a standstill. We were in lockdown. Your grandma who was here to help us had to hurriedly return to her home 6000 miles away because we didn’t want her to get stuck in a foreign country at such a precarious time. So there! We, your mum and dad were left to swim on our own - adjusting to a new family dynamic along with you and your older brother. Your older brother whose routine went out of the window overnight and who also needed us as much as you to help settle into a “new normal”. Such a huge change amidst lockdown restrictions, grocery shortages and being completely bereft of any kind of support. 


Being a baby is hard work and to have to see you through your first year in the midst of a global pandemic is harder. 


As your mother, I worry. A hundred things whizz across my mind at any given time of day or night. 


Am I giving you enough time apart from the absolutely necessary acts of feeding, cleaning and sleeping? With your older brother I would read, sing, create sensory experiences. But now I’m being pulled in a hundred different directions. I’m conscious that I’m not giving you all of me. 


What if the lack of social stimulation is damaging for you? To what extent? I would take your older brother to mum and baby meets, sensory classes and even to the local community centre. We would meet friends and family often. I’m not able to do any of these things with you and the only adults you know are your dad and me. This scares me because I understand the importance of social interaction. Man is after all a social animal. The uncertainty of how much longer this will continue is mentally exhausting. 


I regret that we cannot travel with you in the present circumstances resulting in you not meeting your closest family members who live in various countries spanning different continents. Something that your older brother got in abundance.  Of course, your dad and I try to maintain regular contact with them thanks to technology but you’re a baby after all and need physical interaction. It may all be very confusing to you my love but I promise to make it up to you as soon as it is safe. 


What about developmental delays? Will such an abnormal, unnatural environment trigger some sort of developmental delay? Growth? Motor skills? Speech? I don’t have access to any literature on this and this really unnerves me. I also cannot rely on the experience of other parents who have gone through this before us because there are none. At least none alive because the last global pandemic was more than a century ago. 


Whilst these worries plague my mind I’m trying to look at the bright side as I don’t want to have to look back at this time of our lives and remember only the negatives. 


Your dad working from home has given us ample time to bond as a family. Meal times are fun and cooking at home a family endeavour. Our family strolls whenever possible have been very refreshing. 


I have been forced to think creatively and come up with effective ways to engage your older brother through play and activities. This surely takes time to plan but helps us to have a fair amount of routine in our lives. However I have to admit that on some days Peppa Pig or whoever else wins his admiration becomes the designated babysitter whilst I cope with nurturing you both at once.


We have got to know our neighbours better. Keeping in mind social distancing of course. A term that comes to mind like a reflex these days. In fact, we said hello to some of them for the first time since we moved to this apartment. A sense of community has emerged which is wonderful. 


Finally, we have learnt the importance of everyday things, of ordinary moments - a day out at the local soft play or playground, the freedom to saunter in and out of a supermarket when we please, celebrating occasions with friends and family or rather even meeting friends and family. 


This pandemic has taught us a very important life lesson my love, one of gratitude. Gratitude for every little thing we took for granted. Gratitude for the love of family and friends. Gratitude for Mother Nature and the ability to appreciate her wrath after years and years of being ruthless in our ways. 


So dear Pandemic second born, once we emerge through this storm, I promise you that we will be stronger, contributing with all our might to a much better future for you and your brother. Until then my love, we have each other and that is enough. It’s all that matters. 






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