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Byeeee Sleep

 

These days my haalat is similar to that of Vidya Balan as the infamous Manjulikaa. The only difference being Manjulika was confined to a room whereas I can be seen running around the house like a headless chicken. All thanks to very little sleep. Baby R (nearly 2) is still getting his teeth not in EMI but at very random moments in time. I wish it was the former. At least then I’d be physically and mentally prepared for  sleepless nights. Sigh…


A lot has been written about sleep or the lack of it during the early years of parenting. It all starts soon after the birth of the child. Your body is still reeling under the shock of having birthed another human and is in dire need of rest but you can’t sleep- you need to feed the baby every two hours for starters! “The baby’s tummy is the size of a walnut love” - I was told by a rotund midwife. I actually asked her if she was joking because this baby’s tummy was at least the size of an orange going by feeding duration and frequency! 


Then slowly you get used to the idea of no sleep because you’re bonding with baby right? I mean why are we told this pack of lies? Honestly speaking, I would be happier to “bond” if I had a few hours of sleep rather than running on empty some days. The other so called meaningful advice is…(I bet you can guess already) - “Sleep when the baby sleeps”. Yeah right! And the clothes washed themselves and the dishes magically disappeared! And you fed yourself when? Why is nobody thinking about these other things before giving this blanket advice. Reminds me of something that Komolika (insert any other vamp’s name of choice) would say with a smirk on her face, knowing far too well it’s BS advice. If you did in fact sleep when baby slept please share life hacks!


I still remember one incident when Little R was a baby. I was rocking him to sleep by laying him on my lap. He was taking far too long to fall asleep and I could feel my legs getting tired. He eventually fell asleep. I glanced at my Fitbit to check the time when it gave me a notification of completing 25 minutes of cycling!! The device interpreted me rocking the baby to sleep as exercise! Chalo at least someone is recognising the relentlessness of it all. 

I truly felt like a Chak De chica at that moment. Thank you Fitbit 😄


Co sleeping or independent sleeping is the other choice that parents need to make. Each has its own pros and cons. We tried both at different stages. All I can say is do whatever works for you and your kids. There is no right or wrong here. 


Now, should I or shouldn’t I say the two dreaded words? Ok let me just say it quickly - sleep regression. For the uninitiated this is when baby’s sleep routine goes for a toss so badly that it disorients you too! Beware of taking on the aforementioned Manjulika avatar here. Completely understandable my friend. Research says that sleep regression ends at around 2yrs. But then, but then…just when you think you have sleep sorted, you will slowly start getting polite enquiries from everyone starting from your watchman to your own mother - “potty training kab karoge?” Bas yaar! Jaan loge kya bacche ki? 😅



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