Skip to main content

Dealing With Apathy

What’s worse than lack of empathy? Apathy. The Oxford dictionary defines apathy as “lack of interest, enthusiasm or concern”. As an empathetic person I find this aspect of human expression or lack of it extremely hard to contend with. The absence of reciprocation being a fairly important reason. As humans we are instinctively seeking two way communication and when this doesn’t happen we do find it unnerving.

 

It’s so amusing that people take readily but those same people are reluctant to give. As an observer of human behaviour this is fascinating but to be dealing with apathetic behaviour personally is a different matter altogether.


So if you are an empath like me how do you deal with apathy? Here are a few things that help me:


Reach out a few times by giving the other person the benefit of doubt. If there’s still no response, leave it. It’s not worth worrying about.


Surround yourself with people who you love and those who love you. This will help focus your attention on those who really matter.

 

Exercise! Walk, run, bike, swim. Exercise helps release happy chemicals in the brain like endorphins, serotonin and dopamine. These help regulate mood and lend a different, often more positive perspective.


Develop a hobby which will help channelise your emotional responses in a more constructive manner: be it painting, writing, craft etc. The creative output will bring you more joy and fulfilment than you imagined.


Focus on yourself as much as possible. As empaths we give far too much time to others’ feelings by over thinking and overanalysing. Try to shift this attention on yourself. It helps tremendously to take attention away from your energy drainers I.e. apathetic people. 


Recent life events have given me new perspective on life and relationships. So I am immensely grateful. Every cloud does indeed have a silver lining.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Comfort Food

Today, as I hurriedly grabbed the pot of plain yogurt from the fridge to scoop into my boys’ plates, I was reminded of an incident during my early days in the UK. Having recently arrived in the UK, I was wistfully in the quest for something that reminded me of home, of Mumbai. I distinctly remember that cold winter’s day in the year when the financial recession combined with thick inches of snow made for a grim state of mind. A mind like mine then wasn’t bereft of existential questions. And so, I braved the biting cold to step out into the freezing afternoon, dressed as a novice would – just a jacket, thin woollen gloves and an ill fitting cap.  I walked into the local supermarket as I often do when I am feeling a little glum. The general buzz of activity along with easily accessible food aid in calming my overactive thought processes. I sauntered into the dairy aisle without really meaning to as who in their right mind would consciously enter the cold storage area without having a...

It’s Ok To Not Be Ok

Whilst the motherland struggles with the worst covid surge yet, I feel like a helpless outsider, constantly on edge, always worrying about my family and friends in India. The images flooding the news are heart wrenching to say the least. I recently read a poem by Meera Kandasamy and the line “my country is a crematorium” shook me because it couldn’t be further from the truth. As adults we are conditioned to say “I’m fine “, “I’m ok” when in reality we are not. The admission of not being ok is somehow equated to being weak and this unhealthy dialogue serves to damage our mental health. Also saying you are not ok makes the person who asked uncomfortable and we have learnt over the years to always try and steer clear of awkwardness. As moms we are expected to just get on with it and we do because many a times we don’t have a choice or we assume that we don’t. A lot depends on us doesn’t it? So how do we help ourselves in such distressing times? Here are a few things (for lack of a better ...

Validating Vulnerability

Being strong and brave has always been admired whereas expressing any sort of vulnerability is looked down upon. When someone is articulating their feelings of vulnerability, our first response is to say “oh you are so brave” or “you are a fighter”. We say this perhaps with the intention of making the other person feel better. However by saying this what we are doing is that we are indirectly telling this other person that their feelings of vulnerability are in fact not valid because hey remember you’re strong right ?  We need to change the conversation here and it needs to happen now. The person who is accepting their vulnerability and speaking about it is in fact very strong. It takes a special kind of strength to be vulnerable. So yes they know they are strong. They didn’t ask for your validation about it . What they did ask was for you to acknowledge their feelings of vulnerability rather than trying to put a “positive spin” on everything. Because sometimes , it’s important to ...