Skip to main content

Dear R & R

I am writing this to you today, when I am still able to type fairly quickly with my left hand. My right hand as you know has fallen prey to the vagaries of Parkinson’s disease. Ronak, you, my sensitive and observant child have at the very young age of 3.5 identified my right hand as being too slow. You often kindly explain to Rikhil (a toddler now) that “mummy has boo in her hand”. I am so proud of the thoughtful and kind boy you are. 


I am worried that I may at some point in the future experience the cognitive symptoms of the disease  so I want to capture what I want to tell you both now. Particularly, I myself want to be able to explain to you the nature and challenges of my condition.  I would like you to read this when you are a bit older so that you can understand better.  


PD is a degenerative neurological condition which means that it will get worse over time. I want you to be aware of this as you may slowly notice changes in the way I think, move, speak and experience the world. Please Do acknowledge these changes but please don’t let them come in the way of your communication with me. I still want to be able to do all those things with you boys - from grocery shopping to attending school events and going on holidays. Sure, I maybe slow or move differently but know that my resolve to be by your side as you navigate life’s milestones is now stronger than ever. 


So what can you expect over the years? This is a hard question because I am not sure myself. Every person experiences the disease . I hope these will make you more aware of the challenges I maybe facing and to always show some grace.


It is important to remember that not all individuals experience all symptoms. So, we need to wait and watch to see how my condition is affected as time goes by. I will write to you again when the time comes.


Until then I want to sit with you both, read The Gruffalo book to you and then sing the Gruffalo song with lots of actions and dramatisations. After all, we are creating our own special memories, aren’t we?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Comfort Food

Today, as I hurriedly grabbed the pot of plain yogurt from the fridge to scoop into my boys’ plates, I was reminded of an incident during my early days in the UK. Having recently arrived in the UK, I was wistfully in the quest for something that reminded me of home, of Mumbai. I distinctly remember that cold winter’s day in the year when the financial recession combined with thick inches of snow made for a grim state of mind. A mind like mine then wasn’t bereft of existential questions. And so, I braved the biting cold to step out into the freezing afternoon, dressed as a novice would – just a jacket, thin woollen gloves and an ill fitting cap.  I walked into the local supermarket as I often do when I am feeling a little glum. The general buzz of activity along with easily accessible food aid in calming my overactive thought processes. I sauntered into the dairy aisle without really meaning to as who in their right mind would consciously enter the cold storage area without having a...
Post a Comment
Read more

It’s Ok To Not Be Ok

Whilst the motherland struggles with the worst covid surge yet, I feel like a helpless outsider, constantly on edge, always worrying about my family and friends in India. The images flooding the news are heart wrenching to say the least. I recently read a poem by Meera Kandasamy and the line “my country is a crematorium” shook me because it couldn’t be further from the truth. As adults we are conditioned to say “I’m fine “, “I’m ok” when in reality we are not. The admission of not being ok is somehow equated to being weak and this unhealthy dialogue serves to damage our mental health. Also saying you are not ok makes the person who asked uncomfortable and we have learnt over the years to always try and steer clear of awkwardness. As moms we are expected to just get on with it and we do because many a times we don’t have a choice or we assume that we don’t. A lot depends on us doesn’t it? So how do we help ourselves in such distressing times? Here are a few things (for lack of a better ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Validating Vulnerability

Being strong and brave has always been admired whereas expressing any sort of vulnerability is looked down upon. When someone is articulating their feelings of vulnerability, our first response is to say “oh you are so brave” or “you are a fighter”. We say this perhaps with the intention of making the other person feel better. However by saying this what we are doing is that we are indirectly telling this other person that their feelings of vulnerability are in fact not valid because hey remember you’re strong right ?  We need to change the conversation here and it needs to happen now. The person who is accepting their vulnerability and speaking about it is in fact very strong. It takes a special kind of strength to be vulnerable. So yes they know they are strong. They didn’t ask for your validation about it . What they did ask was for you to acknowledge their feelings of vulnerability rather than trying to put a “positive spin” on everything. Because sometimes , it’s important to ...
Post a Comment
Read more