Skip to main content

How Do You Manage?

I get asked this question a LOT and I’m not quite sure what the person asking this question really wants to hear. Do you want me to go into the nitty gritties of my daily schedule? Or is this merely small talk? What do you hope my response will be? What will you do with the answer(s) I provide? 


So, I umm and I aah. I stumble upon my words because there is no coherent answer in my mind. I finally come up with some general response which I fail to even recollect at this moment in time. However now, I give myself the liberty to reflect. 


So, manage what exactly? My kids? Their routines? Housework? Cooking? Chores? Other errands? My sanity? My health? 


I have 2 young boys (3years and 8m respectively) and a husband who has a very demanding job. We have zero external support. With all the Covid related restrictions, I can safely say that I’m winging it most days. I do have a plan but with a toddler and baby who have plans of their own, I’m learning to go with the flow. Some days are great whilst on others I’m purely surviving. With zero help it’s hard, no doubt but I’m being tried and tested in a hundred different ways and I’ve come to realise the beauty of self reliance.  


My kids rely on me. They see me as their protector, as a provider of their every need and that gives me the strength to show up and step up even on days that feel overbearing before they even begin. Their little eyes are watching me and their brain is absorbing; a lot of information, all the time. It is my responsibility to ensure that they perceive as much positivity as possible. 


These early childhood experiences are tremendously important and the connections we build now will establish the very core of their beings. There’s enough research to tell us the significance of the first 3 years of a child’s life. Having this knowledge means that I always end up prioritising my children’s needs over mine and very often get the balance terribly wrong. 


So, coming back to that question then. How do you manage? There’s no easy answer I’m afraid, especially in these very strange times that we find ourselves in. Perhaps a more empathetic response if there is genuine concern about my situation would be “I can’t imagine how you’re doing it”, “You’re doing the best you can”, “Can I help in any way to make it easier?”. 


It’s the little things that matter. It’s not always what you say, it’s how you say it. “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did but people will never forget how you made them feel” (Maya Angelou). No truer words have been spoken. 


Motherhood is incredibly beautiful and rewarding. However it is also incredibly raw and challenging. And, there in lies one of life’s greatest ironies. I am confident that I will emerge a very different person on the other side of this storm but for now “I’m managing” šŸ˜



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Dear Son, On Your First Day At School

Your first day at school seemed to have passed by in a blur, just like the last four years. Someone hit the nail right on its head when they said , “the days are long but the years are short “. Time is indeed a magician. It tricks you into believing that something will last for a long time when in fact it melts away, without you knowing, blissfully ignorant.  Coming back to your first day, I was a bag of nerves in anticipation of how you’d settle into big school, yes but also in anticipation of how I’d settle. A change to our routine, planning lunches, after school activities and so on. More importantly however, to help me cope with your absence during the time you will be away at school - learning, growing, becoming. Whilst we waited at the school gate you asked me softly, “where’s my school bag?” and “what about lunch mummy?”. I explained to you then that you would be in school for just a couple of hours on the day so you needn’t worry. You seemed reassured by my words.  Sl...
Post a Comment
Read more

Dear Mom To Be

Dear Mom To Be  When I was expecting my first child, I only had theoretical insight into what motherhood would be like. None of the books or websites prepared me for the practical aspects of motherhood that are so very important yet so very overlooked. Although around 9 months of pregnancy prepares you somewhat for your new title as mother, it far from prepares you for the actual role of a mum (This was true in my case and would of course love to hear a different perspective).  It’s only when you are handed this little bundle of life that you realise the magnitude of what’s just happened. You, yes you, have suddenly become physically and emotionally responsible for this tiny human who is now entirely dependent on you for its every need (for the next few months at least).  So dearest mom to be, I want to share with you some practical advice for the initial post partum phase which I wish someone would have shared with me before I became a mom myself. Feel free to chuck it i...
Post a Comment
Read more

Speedpost

Dear R & R I wonder how old you will be when you read this. Are you now both moody teenagers or strappy young men? Wherever in life you are at the moment, I hope that the following words will help guide you and provide you with perspective on life in general. Be kind - to yourself and to others. A kind word or act goes a long way in making this world a better place. So be kind even when you don’t feel like it.  Self belief- Believe in yourself as much as I believe in you; ideally even more. When you believe in yourself you can overcome the biggest of challenges that life inevitably presents us with.  Truth- Always speak the truth. Yes, even when you’re in the wrong. Fight for the truth so that justice is granted. Telling the truth will ensure that you always have peace of mind.    Say No when you need to- It’s important to set boundaries for yourself and saying no facilitates this process. Do what you need to do but don’t get burnt out. Nothing is worth it. ...
Post a Comment
Read more