Supermom - An Illusion?

The title of supermom is as elusive as water off a ducks back. Yet we try to achieve this “gold standard”. Our eyes light up, we blush and sometimes proudly smile when someone presents us with this title even when made in passing. Why do we strive so hard to achieve this? 

I believe that the “supermom” construct is basically an illusion created by societal expectations of mothers. Mothers are expected to do it all, aren’t we? We maybe fighting a million battles in the process but we continue being hard on ourselves; for what? external validation? Praise? Especially From those that just pass casual judgments? 

It starts very early doesn’t it? The choices we make sometimes without even having a choice come under immense scrutiny- c section or vaginal delivery, breast or bottle, independent or co sleeping, traditional or baby led weaning and on and on and on. We always attempt to make the socially acceptable choice because who wants to stray away from the norm eh? More importantly, if we choose the path less taken we are made to feel like failures, labelled as lazy as if somehow we are not doing this motherhood thing properly. And in most cases it is women who criticise other women instead of demonstrating empathy.   How much does it take to be kind? To respect a fellow mother and her individual circumstances to which you may not even be privy?

On the other hand, we sometimes find ourselves to be smugly superior when we end up adhering to these so called societal norms of motherhood. Unfortunately it is this group that plays havoc with the mental health of the rebels, the naysayers, the mothers who push boundaries, challenge the norms. 

I recently read a quote which said “Motherhood is not a competition to see who has the smartest kids, the cleanest home, the healthiest dinners, the nicest clothes….Motherhood is your journey with your children” and it made so much sense. In the race to becoming supermoms and pleasing others we often forget to savour our individual journey. 

So let’s break the cycle, show some grace and respect each other’s choice. After all we are all doing our best for children, aren’t we?