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The Gift Of Grandparents

The sight of a typewriter never fails to remind me of him. My Grandfather, my Ajju. Perhaps my love for the written word comes from him. Perhaps also, my innate ability to empathise. And where do I even begin speaking of my grandmother, my Papama. A large part of who I am today is a reflection of her unconditional love and solid unwavering support for all of my major life decisions.  Grandparents then I would like to think, play a central role in the lives of their grandchildren. They certainly have in mine. With the rise of nuclear families in India, living with grandparents under the same roof maybe seeing a gradual decline. However, with the advancement in infrastructure and technology, there are numerous ways of keeping in touch with each other. All it takes is some time to facilitate that bond whether it is with your own grandparents or fostering that everlasting relationship between your child and your parents, their grandparents.


My grandparents’ home reminds me of a safe haven. Memories come gushing and giving emotion any kind of structure is always challenging. At my grandparents’ place, meal times became an exciting affair with special delicacies cooked from scratch by grandma just for us grandkids and no expense being spared to ensure that every meal was memorable. Story time was our most favourite time of day as once our tummies were bursting at their seams thanks to gorging on all that delicious food, we liked nothing better than to cuddle up besides grandma whilst she not only led us into tales of faraway kingdoms but also told us about the accolades of everyday heroes lest we forget the realities of life. Few joys compared with helping granddad with watering the plants in his coveted garden, ambling alongside him on long leisurely walks on the beach whilst he indulged us with cotton candy and bhelpuri or asking him to read to us the comics section of the daily newspaper.


Little did I know that whilst we were busy enjoying ourselves we were also learning a lot from our grandparents. Life’s most valuable lessons were not learnt in school, no. They were learnt at our grandparents’ home. Respect for others and more importantly yourself, the will to persevere against all odds, learning to be grateful for your blessings and always sticking together as one family unit irrespective of where in the world you are – you maybe in Timbuktoo but if life throws a major curveball, you show up and deflect it, defend it or deflate it, together.

 

I believe that the role of a grandparent is becoming more and more important in today’s world where being part of the rat race cannot be completely avoided. 

When parents feel overwhelmed, it is grandparents who come to the rescue. Armed with the advantage of not being directly involved in the nitty gritties, they can dole out advice with a more objective lens. This advice is so valuable as it may shed light on a new perspective, making the problem or issue seem less daunting and more manageable.


As grandchildren grow up they can fall back on their grandparents for advice. As a consequence of the heartening bond that is shared between grandparents and grandchildren, the former often become the latter’s confidants. What is not readily shared with parents is sometimes shared with grandparents without second thought. They maybe a generation removed but that doesn’t at all deter the level of understanding which is so important in calming a young and restless mind, nudging it in the right direction and making it recognise the sheer magnificence of life itself.


Grandparents have time and wisdom – a truly spectacular combination which enables them to serve as formidable sounding boards. Maybe you’re confused about certain life decisions or you just want someone to listen to how your day was. They will always listen, an art, which seems to be overlooked in today’s overtly opinionated world. The feeling of being listened to is grossly undervalued. Sometimes, all you need is someone to listen to you whilst you think aloud. The answer to your problem may not miraculously appear but it will certainly aid in organising your line of thought so that you are more confident in dealing with whatever it is that is bothering you. 


Even your smallest of achievements will be applauded by your parents but guess who will be cheering the loudest? Yes, your grandparents. It must be a whole new level of joy and fulfilment to see your children’s children attaining success, however insignificant these accomplishments may seem to others. 


Grandparents need to be cherished; cherished unabashedly.  If you have been blessed with their presence, show them what they mean to you. Sometimes, the smallest gestures make the greatest impact. Call them when they least expect it, go out for a stroll, cook them their favourite meal. If your grandparents have been taken away from you, cherish their memory. Do something that reminds you of them – sing a song they liked, eat their favourite food, visit a place that you visited together. 


I believe Khalil Gibran’s quote on friendship in the Prophet is apt here as I feel that the grandparent – grandchild can be best described thus “In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed”. 




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