It was about time we addressed the elephant in the room or took the bull by its horns (R’s obsession with animals has surely rubbed off on me). We (the husband and me) toilet trained R 3 months before his third birthday. We knew he was ‘ready’ around the time his baby brother was born but there’s only so much my post partum self could take. So we decided to wait a bit and it proved to be the best decision for us.
After having read a lot of relevant literature and hearing about experiences of other parents, we decided to go ahead with the hugely popular 3 day approach.
I hope this post proves useful for parents considering toilet training their toddler(s) in the near future. So, I will divide the steps into Readiness for toilet training , Things to do before, Things to do during and finally Pointers for after toilet training.
Before I go on to elaborate on these steps. *Drumroll Please* Day time and night time training do not need to coincide. The latter is more of a physiological process so the child will organically demonstrate readiness for it by self initiation. I was extremely relieved when I read this because I couldn’t for the life of me imagine feeding bub and dealing with the excruciating nitty gritties of toilet training R in a half awake state myself!
Readiness:
Ascertaining readiness to be potty trained is the most important step of the entire process in order for it to become a success. If your toddler is not ready, it will become a very difficult and arduous process for both child and parent.
Some common signs of readiness include but are not limited to:
* Having dry nappies at night
* Ability to comprehend and act upon simple requests e.g. sit on the toilet
* Ability to communicate clearly his/her need to use the toilet
* Ability to climb onto the toilet training seat independently (this really helps to encourage independence especially when you have to look after a younger sibling)
* Refusal to wear nappies more often than not
Before toilet training
Once you have identified readiness, start preparing your child and yourself for the process. The following helped us:
* Communicating to your toddler every time you or your other half use the toilet e.g. mummy is going to wee wee in the toilet
* Saying to your toddler that he/she is a big boy/girl now and soon we will say bye to nappies
* Buying a safe and durable toilet seat. Highly recommend the ones with a step ladder as these encourage independence.
* Songs and books also help in preparing a toddler (we didn’t end up using these)
* Buying underwear (we bought some with prints of R’s favourite superhero character) to make them want to wear it
* Having cleaning materials, spare bedding ready keeping in mind any accidents that may ensue
* Stocking up on treats/stickers to be used during the process
* Stocking up on treats/rewards for yourself
As this is a 3 day process, choose a long weekend as ideally this would work best.
Make sure your other half is on board also as you both need to be a team to get through this process successfully.
During Toilet Training
Well done for taking the plunge. Don’t worry, it’s not a now or never situation. You can choose to postpone if things aren’t going right.
Day 1
So as per the 3 day plan, day 1 starts with getting rid of the nappy as soon as toddler wakes up. We got R to physically throw his nappy in the bin and say bye bye nappy. You can choose to make toddler wear underwear but going commando is the most practical way. So essentially, toddler is naked waist down.
You then take the toddler to the toilet pot every 10 minutes and explain that he/she needs to wee in the pot. Although this works for most kids, it didn’t work for R. He was super annoyed with the frequency of us taking him to the toilet and refused to wee in the pot. He had a couple of accidents but figured out that he needs to climb onto the pot and wee. R has always been very independent so we left him to it.
The first few times he weeed in the pot were moments of celebration. Make sure you amply reward this behaviour by praise and treats as this is what you want to encourage. So by the end of Day 1 R had figured out weeing in the pot but no sign of poo poo yet!
Day 2
On Day 2, the 3 day plan involves taking the toddler to the toilet every 30 minutes. We didn’t follow this as R had already made the connection of sensation to wee and going to the toilet. We were now looking out for poo poo signs and told him he needs to tell us so we can take him. Day 2 ended without any wee wee accidents but there was still no sign of poo poo. Apparently this is very normal as they tend to hold back.
Day 3
Toddlers emulate behaviour and I’m a strong believer of behavioural psychology. So on Day 3 when I had to use the toilet I told R see I’m going to do poo poo now so if you need to go you can go too. As I was exiting the loo, I could see and hear R sitting on the toilet and straining. And hallelujah! He did it! This called for a great cheer and 2 treats once he was done.
After Day 3
Many congratulations for riding out the 3 days process. It is no doubt intense but works more often than not if followed properly. A very important note here - You can start stepping out with toddler for short periods of time but please do not make them wear a nappy as that would undo all your training efforts.
Finally, an extremely significant point that we parents need to be mindful of - NEVER shame your child for toilet training accidents. Be very objective and neutral in your responses e.g. Wee wee in the toilet remember? Not on the sofa ok?
Shaming and reacting negatively could cause a lot of backlash; the seriousness of which may even be long lasting lest it transfers onto other areas of life.
So let me leave you now with all this information to ponder about and wish you loads of success in this very important childhood milestone 🙂
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