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What A Disaster!!

Life with two littles can be best described as chaotic yet very rewarding. Especially when you have zero external support and the so called ‘village’ that is supposed to help raise your kids basically consists of you and your partner. You might agree with me when I say that when things get chaotic which they inevitably will, we tend to get overwhelmed and in that moment can’t seem to recognise any rewards. It’s only when we have a few minutes of calm that we are able to view our situation with a different lens.     

 

Raising two toddlers means constant action, drama and sometimes disaster! I still remember that one day very clearly where I questioned my ability to be a “good mother” - a term which I hate but ironically fall prey to every so often. That’s a story for another day. So coming back to the day of disaster. 


My older son (Little R) at the time was 2.5 years and my younger one (Baby R) was just over 6m. The country was in lockdown thanks to Covid and the husband was in the midst of a demanding work project. 


I had planned out the day in such a way that Little R would be effectively engaged whilst I attempted to feed Baby R some solids. The activity that I introduced to Little R involved throwing balls into a basket. I had kept the activity at a safe distance from the dining table. I don’t know what made me have so much confidence in a 2.5 y old. The first 5 minutes were smooth and I smugly counted this as a mum win. Then suddenly disaster struck rather a ball struck Baby R’s food bowl and narrowly missed hitting him. I sprung into action and tried to stop Little R from throwing more balls. He clearly thought it was a game. It’s only when I shouted at him to stop that he realised what he was doing wasn’t appreciated and he started bawling and throwing a tantrum. Looking at this baby R got scared and started gagging on a mouthful of food that I had just fed him. 

Imagine this scene now- A belligerent toddler having a meltdown and a gagging baby. I obviously had to deal with baby R first so whilst Little R was screaming at the top of his lungs with tears streaming down his cheeks I tried to relieve Baby R of the food that was putting him in extreme discomfort. A thump on his back correctly done (can’t thank the pedeatric first aid course enough here) was all it took. Now that Baby R was dealt with, I turned my attention to Little R and gently eased his meltdown. I have learnt that responding calmly is the only thing that helps in tantrum infused situations. Losing my cool makes these already stressful events worse.  

  

Although this event was just one part of our day, it made me judge myself in harsh light. I was trying my best but things panned out differently. Managing this and a variety of other situations has given me confidence yes but more than that it has increased tremendously reliance on myself and for this I will remain grateful. After all, every cloud does indeed have a silver lining.




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