My husband and I always wanted two children. Our son was 2.4 yrs old when we welcomed his little brother into our lives, just before the pandemic changed the world. Being in lockdown with a toddler and a newborn was very chaotic at the beginning. I remember being consumed by intense guilt when I had to pay more attention to our newborn. I was also very aware that my toddler needed me to help him come to terms with all the changes around him.
Lockdown meant that we didn’t have the privilege of external support so we slowly began coping on our own. We gradually established a rough routine which helped provide some security to our toddler. He began understanding that “even though mummy may not be able to spend all her time with me I know that she will e.g. read to me, bathe me etc.”. I believe that this sense of security facilitated a deep bond that my sons share.
Of course there were days when I was far too overwhelmed, there still are. Days on which nothing seems to be going right, days where everything seems to be happening at once, days that feel overbearing even before they begin. On days like these, I take it a few hours at a time and lean in on my husband even more than usual. Looking after a baby and toddler along with everything else is easier said than done. However for me the moments of sibling bonding and affection make it all worth it.
Now, my sons are slowly beginning to play together and it’s an absolute joy to see their dynamic develop as they grow. I still do look back at those early days and wonder how my husband and me managed it all. I believe it was our solid partnership that saw us through and for this I will remain eternally grateful.
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