It had been a month since the lockdown had been in place due to the dreaded corona virus. Tara’s job as HR Manager for a logistics company had become incredulous. The lack of clarity about the rules and processes had created terrible confusion in the minds of employees.
Tara wasn’t looking forward to the barrage of emails that welcomed her.
From CEO
Subject: Working Hours
How do we know people are working their contracted hours? Who is keeping track of this? Please come up with a solution ASAP
P.S. Can we avoid paying bonuses this year? I’m sure you can figure out an escape route!
From Employee
Subject: Half day
I need to go get my son from nursery as he’s unwell. I will be out only for 2 hours so will this still be considered as half day?
From Marketing Manager
Subject: Staff!!
I need 2 more staff ASAP. In fact I needed them a year ago. It’s a shame that it’s taken a pandemic for my request to be considered. Please ensure they are given a fair pay packet. Can’t afford to lose to the competition. Also, I’m available for interviews but please give me a proper heads up so I’m presentable on the day.
From: Employee
Subject: Chair
I’ve been suffering from a terrible back ache since we started working from home. My GP says it’s the chair I use at home. Can I expense the new chair to the company? I will be using it only for office work.
From: Finance Manager
Subject: Expenses
Why are we still getting agency staff? Why do we need agency staff to work from home? Can we trust that they are doing the hours they are invoicing us for?
Please send spreadsheet with current agency headcount and plans for cost cutting. We have to be conservative in this pandemic. Also, why are we still getting people expensing their lunch?!
From: Training Manager
Subject: Gross behaviour
We had an online training course this afternoon and I was appalled that 3 out of the 10 people who attended were farting and burping very loudly. It was really quite embarrassing! Can you send out a memo to discourage this sort of gross behaviour? It’s disgusting!!
From: IT Manager
Subject: Pay Rise
I’m writing to request an immediate consideration for a pay rise. It’s not easy managing a workload that’s doubled over night and people raising really ridiculous requests. We had a request for a screen protector from a delivery driver . I don’t know who is approving this? Anyway, please push for my pay rise.
P.S. Catch up drink soonish?? X
From: Events Manager
Subject: Annual Quiz Budget
Please can you follow up with the CEO about this. Our calls and emails are being ignored by his secretary . We need approval as we need to send individual refreshment hampers in time for quiz night.
May I remind you that it’s also in your department’s best interest considering the annual quiz night is the only engagement activity that happens in this place?
From: Quality Manager
Subject: Standard Operating Procedures
Please can you send me the updated HR SOPs in line with Covid measures and/or restrictions? The ISO inspectors are on my back and we really cannot afford to lose the certification during this difficult time.
From: Admin Manager
Subject: Reception Team Furlough & Name Badges
For how much longer will the Reception team be on furlough? Can we speak about this today please as there are rumours about redundancies. I’ve been getting panic calls since morning and need to know what to say or not to say. Also, why is the Finance team still sending in requests for new name badges? Please don’t tell me they are being asked to wear them when working from home? Wouldn’t put it past their manager tbh! Anyhow ! Waiting for your call.
From: Facilities Manager
Subject: Returning to office
Any idea when staff will be asked to return to office? Trying to plan ahead as it’s going to be a nightmare reorganising work desks with social distancing measures .
Also, I’m going to add masks and sanitizer dispenser as urgent points in the next meeting. Please can you ensure this is minuted correctly as don’t want Facilities to be blamed later on when the shit hits the fan. That reminds me, we need to incentivise cleaning team for the extra work. Not an easy bunch! Will call you first thing tomorrow morning.
From: Employee
Subject: Holidays
Since we cannot travel due to lockdown restrictions and are still expected “to be available remotely” can we please get paid for our holidays instead of being forced to take holiday and being expected to work too? Think it’s a fair request. Please can you discuss this with management at the earliest?
From: CEO
Subject: Redundancies
Reception? Middle Management?, Training? Any other department I’m missing? Please commence due process once we finalise at meeting later this week.
P.S. Extremely pleased there won’t be meeting distractions due to eating and drinking. Please ask all managers to be prepared and choose a time that doesn’t involve them randomly dropping out of calls.
From: Head of Supply Chain
Subject: Staff!
Nurses! We need delivery drivers! Half my team is self isolating. Between you and me, I know that 2 of them are faking it. My hands are tied. Please call me as soon as you see this!
P.S. I’m upto here already with staffing issues so please can you ask Finance to calm down about agency staff? Happy to train their lot if they’re upto it! I’m not even joking here!! Call me please.
And on and on the emails continued...
Tara wished this was a bad nightmare but alas it wasn’t.
(So, this was all in good humour. However I cannot imagine the level of stress HR professionals are undergoing in the current circumstances with the everyday changes in policy and operating structures, not to forget the incredible amount of uncertainty. To all my HR colleagues out there, here’s me clapping for you and cheering you on. You’ve got this!)
Comments
Post a Comment